Waikiki - Sprink Break 2010
One day, this picture will be all I have to remember this moment of Mimi playing in the surf and loving life. It’s said a picture is worth a thousand words, but for me, capturing moments like this are more than words… they are priceless memories.
Every night my husband and I have the same conversation about our kids. It goes something like this…
Me: Can you believe how are kids are growing? It just seems like yesterday they were all so little.
Rob: I know, Abbi is just a couple years away from jr. high. (sigh)
Me: Before you know it she’ll be driving, off to college, and then….
Rob: No, there will be no “then”. (bigger sigh)
Me: Where does the time go?
Rob: I don’t know but I’m going to spend as much time with them as I can.
Me: I am so thankful they have a dad like you.
Rob: I am thankful they have a mom like you.
Honest to God, we have this conversation nightly. In the back of my mind I wonder what my own parents think about us, their six kids. We’re all grown with our own families. I know I’m my father’s daughter but I don’t remember being so small. And now that I’m older, I am realizing how much I wished there were more pictures of us kids and my parents. Pictures I could hold on to of when we were all together. Our family didn’t own a camera so the pictures we have are of ones other people gave to us, and truthfully, there aren’t very many.
Although my dad has been diabetic as far back as I can remember, he’s been fairly healthy most of his life. One of his favorite things to do is drive all over the place. It is not uncommon for him to spend all day driving around the beautiful state of Washington. My parents live pretty humbly, but my dads eyes are what makes him feel rich.
While we were on vacation last week I received a phone call from my sister about our dad. Apparently he woke up last week not able to see very well. One thing you should know about my dad is the fact he is prideful and reserved. He’s the type of person who always prefers to do things himself and never asks for help. For him to call my sister up and ask her to drive him to the hospital is a strong indicator that he was fearful that his eyes were failing him. Doctors are running tests right now but deep inside we all know he is going blind. The very thought of this makes me sad. Even typing these words out is gut wrenching painful. I’m sad for dad and there is nothing I can do for him other than pray, which for me is the best thing I can do for him. My siblings and I always knew we would have to have a family meeting someday about dad or mom, but I never believed it would actually happen. It’s the conversation all families want to avoid. My sister will be home tonight on short leave from Iraq, my other sister is driving from across the state, and by the time the week is over we will be making decisions we never wanted to make, but have to.
Just like the thousands of pictures I have of my kids, I have this urgent need to take as many pictures of dad and mom as possible. I want to have them printed out for him to look at, to remember the goofy faces of our kids and to have those images burned in his memory because once his eyes go, memories of their faces are all that he will have.
My kids will grow up and leave the house someday. My parents though… my days with them are shorter with each passing day.
Forgive me for this long winded rambling. I’m sad and grieving. I just needed to get this all out. I’m soaking everything in – the good, the bad, and the inevitable.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you for sharing this. Your mindful parenting is what your kids will always cherish; how you were present with them and how you WANTED to be present with them. There is no greater gift.
I’m so sorry – I’ll keep your father in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, Alice. You and your family are in our prayers.
Thanks so much for your sweet thoughts, prayers, and comments. I drove my dad around so he could take care of errands today. It was so sad because he could hardly see.
Alice, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost my own Dad last month, and the wounds are still fresh for me. Every time I see a cute old man on the street I want to go up and hug him. Take lots of pictures and hold him close. You’ll be glad you did. Take care, Cindy
I just have to tell you… you have absolutely adorable children!!!
Happy Mother’s Day, Alice.
Thank you Esthel! Happy Mother’s Day to you, too!
I have tried many of your recipes and I loved it. I’ve also read all your entries, you are truly an inspiration, a gift from God, an angel to people like me. Thank you for sharing. Always looking forward for your next entry.