Looking Beyond The Present Circumstances

Parenting is heart work. It will force you to look at yourself, deep into your soul, and challenge you in ways that will leave you humbled.  When I say parenting is “heart work”, one could assume I was referring to the child’s heart.  No, I’m referring to my own heart and how much work I need to be the type of mom my kids can trust, love, and respect.

I was reminded of a valuable lesson today.  My son, Eli, usually wakes up morning smiling, full of energy, and in great spirits.  But today something was very off and very wrong.  He woke up screaming and throwing a tantrum, or so I thought.  You would have to know my son to understand that he rarely ever fusses, so this was very out of character for him.  For 30 minutes my husband, Rob, tried consoling him.  It was not even 8am and I was frazzled by just the thought of how the rest of the day potentially could be.   Not once did it ever occur to me something could be wrong with my son.  After all, I’m his mother.  I spend everyday with him all day long.  I know the different types of cries he has and today I was convinced he was having a “tantrum”.  In our household, when my kids have tantrums our policy is to ignore them.  Twenty minutes later, I smelled something  foul.  Sure enough, Eli had pooped his diaper.  After I changed him, his disposition changed completely into the happy, easy going kid I know he is.  Than it hit me like a huge slap in the face.  Eli wasn’t throwing a tantrum, he was crying because he was in pain from stomach cramps – I failed him.

A flood of guilt started to wash over me.  What he needed was to be nurtured, but what he got was the cold shoulder.  What I should have done was hold him; after all, piercing screams for no reason probably aren’t tantrums but are a sure sign of physical pain.  Perhaps it’s because I wasn’t quite awake yet, but still I was left humbled beyond words.

What I gleaned from that moment was a teachable moment for myself.  That in life it’s much easier to make assumptions about people or circumstances based on an incident or what we want to believe and not necessarily from what is true.  If we can slow down long enough to seek the truth or respond to others based on what we know their character or intention to be then the truth itself can help us see beyond a chaotic situation or circumstance giving us the patience, wisdom, understanding, and knowledge to respond accordingly.  This way everyone’s needs are met in a compassionate and loving way.  A little grace can go a long way, but experiencing grace can be life changing.

This morning my son taught me that parenting is “heart” work and I have a lot of growing to do still.  He was the teacher, I was the student.  In fact, I will always be a student of my children.  They teach me so much about myself and the areas of my heart I need working on.  For this I’m thankful.

In case you’re wondering, Eli and I enjoyed a day at the park on the slide and merry-go-round.  The day was not lost because of one incident this morning.  Together we overcame what happened at the start of the day and enjoyed each other’s company until he went to bed.  I love that kid.  He is a very patient teacher… the very best kind.

Tagged as: Parenting